Last night was a horrrrrrrible night! My depression started hitting me again yesterday afternoon but I thought I could keep it away. Boy was I wrong. Lee and Kaylee went to his folks last night to watch hockey and I stayed at home.
I was sitting on the couch and it just all became way to overwhelming. I just didn't know what to do. I was having really bad thoughts about life not being worth living. I don't want these thoughts. I know life is worth living. I just am having a harder time keeping the bad thoughts away. I know I should go see my doctor, but I don't want to be put on meds. I don't think meds are the way to solve it. I can't go see a counselor because you have to be diagnosed with depression for our insurance to cover any of it and I can't afford the money it costs without insurance covering.
Of course last night when I was having this episode, I ate my way through it. I ate almost an entire little pint of ice cream. Woke up this morning and still feeling crappy. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to deal with this anymore!
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